And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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