ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
