You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
