Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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