THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
