Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
