i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
