just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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