I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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