I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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