so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
