Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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