it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
