Your face is a jimmy john
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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