A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
