worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
