I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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