You can't motorboat a personality
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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