So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
50% drunk capacity currently
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
