That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
