yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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