She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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