he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
