I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
