she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
