A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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