4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
