**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
