Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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