We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
