My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
