Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
