if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
