fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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