flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
