Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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