my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
