I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
