he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
