somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
