My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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