1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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