I accidentally burped into my bong.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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