I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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