Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
