Christians are straight up FREAKS
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the day after is always just damage control
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
