I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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