Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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