Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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