she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My vagina just clenched in fear
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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