Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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