She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wear drunk well.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
