Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
