What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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