Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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